The Contingency Plan

Meet your Queen.. The Queen of Klutz

I've never been one to run away from the ball, trip when I walk or cause public harm with eye cancerous dance moves but today I feel like THE Queen of Klutz.

Scene One: I'm in a meeting with a very, very fine looking young man I'd just met from a popular men's magazine. We're talking shop and I reach for my glass of water only to TOTALLY miss my mouth and spill most down the front of my top and not in a sexy, wet t-shirt kinda way either. I was absolutely mortified. He didn't laugh.

Scene Two: I'm having my chocolate fix for the day and without realising it, a drop falls on my chair. It melts between my legs (how could it not?) and leaves an unsightly brown mark on my chair and my trousers, which I didn't notice until AFTER I'd been out.

Scene Three: A colleague tells me a funny and slightly unbelievable story and I yell "Get in!" instead of "Get out!"

Scene Four: I tell a client that we "don't want to let the dog out of the bag"

I know the last two are malapropisms, but still - what the fuck!?!