The Contingency Plan

Sunday, July 11, 2004

i can't stop sobbing.
lucas doesn't want our baby.
he questions whether he can love it.
he doesn't understand how i could feel excited by the lotion of it.
the sacrifice and commitment outweigh the joy.
kids don't excite him.
so i can't stop sobbing.
i feel broken.
out of focus.
this isn't the ideal situation for me, but i'm trying to make the most of it.
so i can't believe he's like this.
i thought i'd have more.
i thought i'd have something.
so we're giving him some time to adjust.
a few days, a few weeks, he's not sure.
if he doesn't then i'm leaving.
i feel so emotional that i don't know how i'm going to sleep tonight, let alone work tomorrow.
i feel ripped off.
utter sadness.


posted by kazumi at 11:45 pm

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