The Contingency Plan

i'm seeing my dad this weekend. it's causing me some stress as he's never been to my house, i haven't seen him in over a year and wouldn't if i weren't pregnant. but i've lived without grandparents and don't want wolfie to do the same thing.

dad went through natasha and asked if he could come by with her and my brother this weekend and i softened.

at this point i have conflicting emotions. i miss him, love him and want him to be a part of this time in my life, but am still angry at how he's treated lucas, my family and me.

dad's never really accepted lucas. he believed lucas would just use me and leave me once he had a visa and kicked me out of home because i wasn't planning on marrying him. two years later i found out about dad's multiple affairs (and he wonders why i'm hesitant to get married!).

those times were hard because lucas' visa didn't allow him to work more than three months with any one employer and i'd just started in PR so the money was shit. the company i worked for (same as now) then hit troubled times and we were all asked to take a pay cut to help them make ends meet. despite this we managed to survive and save the huge amount we needed for a visa application so lucas could be a permanent resident.

dad's done plenty of shitty and hurtful things since so i'm just unsure about this weekend. i know i'm doing it for wolfie but i still wonder.