The Contingency Plan

Life is starting to feel normal again. I've really enjoyed the last two days.

Although Hugo's routine has been a little out of whack, I'm sticking to our routine in the hopes it'll pan out. I'm using a method Chloe learnt from a reputable baby guru but don't know the full extent of the method. I have the guru's details but despite raving testimonials from devoted followers, she costs $160 per visit and I'm just not willing to pay that much... for now. We'll see.

I'm consistently reminded how lucky and very blessed I am. I used to be very wary of the word 'blessed', but I feel it. Having a baby has given me strength, but has also made very vulnerable as I treasure Hugo and Lucas more than I can express.

I took Hugo to the doctor today to get his immunisation shots and Mum and Natasha came along for the ride. I thankfully had to cuddle him around the torso as I couldn't watch him it get done. My job was to act as a comforting distraction that would keep him firmly on the bed and I was relieved to hold him during it. He cried and actually screamed a little. It was heart-breaking.

He's been upset since the shots, but has slept and fed a lot which has helped. I hope he feels better tomorrow.

And on the topic of feeding, he's become quite a big baby that looks almost double his age. He now weighs 7.6kgs - he was 5.5kgs the week before Christmas. Newborn clothes no longer fit him. Crikey. I think his weight gain may also be linked to my aching knees. It hurts to bend them. I used to get this every now and then as a result of years of dancing, but it's now ridiculous. I don't think I'm lifting him correctly so I'm going to try a more supportive method in the hopes it'll help. Having bad knees isn't good for climbing nine flights of stairs each day.

Tomorrow's my first book club meeting for the year. Although I bought the book... I unfortuately haven't read it yet. BUT my NY resolution was to read them all. I didn't specify when. Oh dear. I've also invited Lucas to come along and we're taking Wolfie as the worms are eager to meet him. I'm looking forward to seeing them all again.

I also hoping to have dinner with Anna beforehand as the office is just down the road from the book club meeting. She hasn't been doing too well. I have strong instincts when it comes to her. For example, I was worried about her over the weekend and she apparently broke down at a party due to stress from work. The last time this happened was last November. I had a dream where she was crying with big, exaggerated bags under her eyes and the next day she fainted at the office (again stress related). Anna has very strong character, but is quickly burning out there. She's been chucked in the deep end and they don't have the decency to throw her an inflatable of any kind. The only air she receives is their words and I know exactly what that feels like.

Anna and I were close at work but she never really calls or emails me anymore. She's always too busy working or partying, but I feel like she needs some support. I think I would like the same if I were in her situation.