The Contingency Plan

The windows are closed and my blanket is wrapped tight but the cold blue air still permiates my creaking knees and toes.

It seems I'm loosing more than just heat today. It started out small. I couldn't find my glasses, misplaced a CD and bacteria beat me to my banana, but before I could re-open the fridge to find another treat, I realised I'm also loosing my current home (even though we're gaining another great one) and the spark in my relationship with Luc to stress.

I don't have a text book reaction to dealing with these losses. This time, I took after my mum in mastering the art of tongu-fu and verbally defended myself and my relationship with Luc with conversations, requests, reminders of our past passion and as a last resort, arguements. None of it has worked.

So today I encouraged him to go out with his friends. When he returned Natasha and I were watching 'So I married an Axe Murderer' for the one hundreth time so he retreated to his cave to watch action flicks and play video games.

The couch feels cold without him but I just hope that by giving things a rest, our relationship will re-gain some energy. Like Pantene said, "it won't happen overnight", but this time I hope something will warm up, even if it's a little.