The Contingency Plan

The nights are getting colder and tonight bliss found me by the heater playing the Sims 2 while chatting to Mum on the phone. Hugo was napping, my stomach was digesting a delicious three mushroom risotto and I was finally feeling my feet.

I was getting an update on a trip some close family friends recently returned from. Honestly folks, we all dream of parents like Uncle Glen and Aunty Beverly. They have four kids: Kerry (27), Lisa (24), Matthew (19) and Jessica (15) and the whole family, including Kerry and Lisa's fiances were treated to a ten week, all expenses paid holiday to Hawaii, New York, Paris, Rome, London, New York and South Africa.

They all get along wonderfully well so being with family for that long didn't cause a dire need for a copious amount of 'jetlag pills'.

Anyway, upon his return Uncle Glen called Dad and was saying how he recently met Hugo when Dad interrupted and said, "Stop. I don't want to hear about her".

Uncle Glen was well aware of the situation, but was still shocked (Uncle Glen's known me since I was born and wants to marry Luc and me) so he naturally told Aunty Beverly who called Mum who informed me. And I was sad for my mother as she's still getting over how much of a bastard my Dad can be.

But after my short-lived sadness, I thought was I was once so close to being with someone who is just like him.

...

Phil and I met at an industry party. The formula for these parties was simple. The media were gaming geeks so the only way to capture their attention was free food, alcohol and games games games! Being an attractive female who could talk on their level was enormous kudos.

At the time my client was a major video console company and he is a prominent and popular gaming journalist.

We both smoked Marlboro Lights. I lost his matches.

Our chemistry was instant and tangible but I wasn't attracted to his looks. Phil isn't stylish. He wears big, baggy jeans with enough denim in the legs to create another pair, baggy sports jumpers, baseball caps, he has unkept strawberry blonde hair and is slim but a major gamer, hence no work-out body.

But he's cheeky, confident, indifferent and very witty. We shared a love for the same kind of music, the same kung-fu movies, the same drugs and yes, the same kind of games.

Our game lasted around six months and was very messy with too many extra lives.

Phil had a serious girlfriend. Sure, they'd only been dating for three months but he cheated on his fiance with her. She was the fiance's best friend and it's taken Phil's family nearly a year to accept her. Things were finally comfortable and he didn't want to rock the boat with his folks again. He couldn't deal with what they'd think of him.

Luc and I had been together for nearly three years. I broke up with him before I could be classed a cheater but remember the unhappiness and overwhelming confusion. I didn't want to loose Luc but the passion with Phil was overwhelming. And the tragedy was, was that I knew it would fade and I'd be left with nothing.

It's during these times the candid words of my mother resurface, "Aiya, men who cheat have their main meal, they have enough. The extra woman is the dessert. She's sweet on the side. He can go without dessert but never without main meal, just remember." Sophie was seeing a married man at the time and hearing that was, as Dr. Phil would say, the 'deal breaker'.

Nevertheless Phil and I absolutely fell for each other but for once in my life I played it cool. I told him it was a fling and wouldn't last. I didn't ask him to leave his girlfriend and said that I didn't want commitment from a man who has his track record. But I'd left Luc to be with him and these words only seemed to unintentionally add more intensity to things with Phil.

We were out one night when, out of curiosity I asked him what was wrong in his relationship for him to be with me.

"Nothing," he said. "Jill's honestly amazing and I can't fault her. She's sweet, giving and caring. The only thing that gets to me is she doesn't do her bikini line and she isn't as adventurous in bed, but on the contrary, it's loving."

"When why are you jeopardising what you have with her?" I asked.

He paused and grinned before saying, "I simply can't help myself."

I broke up with him shortly after that. Jill suspected but never found out about me, though I wonder if she did, whether she would try and dissect her relationship to try and figure out what was wrong (maybe the fact that they were Phil and Jill could have something to do with it).

I casually visited a therapist during this time as I discovered the extent of my father's affairs just after Phil and I separated. It was only after I'd seen the therapist, could I notice the stark similarities between my father and Phil and am thankful I didn't fight for a such a selfish coward. I also realised how much a really missed and loved Luc.

We used to keep in contact while I was at work but haven't since I've had Hugo. It's better off that way.

Luc booked a plane ticket home to Canada the very day he found out about Phil. Although Phil and I were no longer together, it was only after hours of talking and crying that I convinced him to stay.

I kept Luc's plane ticket after that to remind myself of all that I have and what learnt during that time. I recently found it while unpacking some boxes. I don't think Luc knows I kept it.