The Contingency Plan

Kris called me yesterday and told me the details of Sophie's visit. Soph was there to get a haircut from our hairdresser, Jamie and I was eager to painfully hear every minute detail...

She's been to India twice in the past year to follow her guru, Amma. She lives up the coast in a remote area with her boyfriend Paul in a three bedroom house. They've quit their jobs and buy goods from auctions to sell them at various markets and on ebay. She looks good and has lost a lot of weight due to sickness in India and Paul was the one who brought us up.

Although I relished the information at the time, I wish I didn't know. I hate how depressed I feel after hearing about her.

I've been considering therapy for a while now but am always unsure. For a long time I considered it to be like an emotional dumping ground where I can just leave my baggage and feel better but one day realised that maybe this is a part of the process. Hurt, sadness, anger and rejection belong in life and it's foolish of me to think that I can just take a pill or see a councellor to make me feel happy.

But other times I just want a supportive, listening ear who will tell me on good authority that it'll all be ok. Isn't that what we all occassionally want?

amazing.

"Although I relished the information at the time, I wish I didn't know. I hate how depressed I feel after hearing about her."

This is how I feel about reading your blog.

therapy is hard work. i've done it. I'm better for it. I hope I never have to do it again. But it helped me tremendously.

uh . . . just to clarify (in case I needed to), I meant (way back here) that your life sounds fantastic & *sometimes* when I leave your blog I feel like "geez, what am I doing with _my_ life"?
did that come across?

I hope you continue to blog--you are a natural writer & I enjoy reading about your insights, loves, frustrations, joys, ect.