The Contingency Plan

I thought I would have a lot of time to blog on this holiday but have been surprised at how much time family consumes. We're in Vancouver again after a week of galavanting throughout Vancouver Island, and although a great time was had by all, I'm exhausted from an ironic lack of rest. It's good to be back 'home'.

Living with a family has reminded me of so much more than the repercussions of secretly eating someone else's icecream and the benefits of locking the door when going to the loo. I've been reaquainted with the virtues of compromise, sharing and seeing but still loving people in spite of their unique madness and have realised how lonely I was in Sydney. I was depressed and quite desperate for someone kind who could and wanted to provide some comfort and much needed hope. I love my friends and family in Sydney but often feel no one wants to get involved with other people's feelings and 'mess', so relationships can feel superficial.

I've also been surprised at how comfortable I feel with Luc's family. The women remind me of my own family but without the ingrained need to control (don't you find you want to control the words, actions and attitudes of your family members and vice versa?). And they have so much character. When I write that I don't mean they can tell a humorous dinner party joke and have a penchant for loud shoes; I mean they've experienced heartache, lonliness, war and poverty and have survived wounded but still bearing the desire to share their warmth, love and lessons.

And being so removed from home and the need to put on a good front has made me do things you only can do in a foreign country like sob shamelessly in the street, bear my soul to a stranger and tell my lover why I'm seriously thinking of leaving him.

And these women have held me, shared cigarettes (and let me cough them down), shared glass after glass of wine and above all, they've really understood how I've felt. I don't feel like an emotional lunatic and further to that, they've butted their noses into our business and taken action to prevent further pain and it's surprisingly been exactly what I've needed.

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sounds as if you had an experience that will keep you thinking for a few months ahead . . . funny, we talked about women's solidarity in WS100 just today . . . how did he respond when you told him?

SQ

Oh not too well. He was shocked and scared of loosing me. I was surprised he had no idea it was coming.

Anyway, we've been having some good conversations and I've even mentioned a couple's councellor (to his utter horror), but that seems to make him work harder at making things better. Anything to avoid a councellor!