The Contingency Plan

It's still raining. Luc has gone to keep his Mom company as she drops his brother home downtown, Hugo's sleeping, Barry (Luc's Mom's fiance) is watching tv and I've done the dishes and have finished cleaning the kitchen after dinner. I should do some work but feel like writing. Nothing in particular.

Lately I've been thinking what would happen if women decided to shun men in live in communities of their own. I remember reading or hearing something along those lines in somewhere like China or Africa where men were only allowed to visit to make babies and recall things were pretty sweet. Luc's Mom, like my own, is very close to her sister and all four women are tired of men and believe they will all retire happily with their sisters. Each has a significant other who they love, but nevertheless consider disposable. They've all been tremendously hurt in the past and I can't help but wonder if I will end up like this?

Luc's Mom and I have bonded quite significantly on this trip and she's been blatantly pushing Luc to pop the question. Every time he mentions a TV, computer, game or something he wants to buy (which is practically every day) she'll tell him he has better things to purchase (ie a ring). Most days I'd like to get married but there are still some days where I don't.

The notion of marriage offers me a sense of unity, belonging and security yet I'm always wary of becoming another sad statistics. Like many trends have shown, I question if a different man accompany me as I journey through the partying, child rearing and later years of my life. Sometimes I matter-of-factly think this will be the case and wonder what I can do to value what I have and stay strong, just in case. And sometimes I wonder whether this is the disposition of someone suited for marriage.

Whenever someone asks, I cheekily refer to Luc as my lover. Lots of people find this amusing and think this would keeps him on his toes but I'm starting to see marriage like that now, especially in a time when divorce is so commonplace.