The Contingency Plan

Thursday, December 29, 2005

i've been a bit shitty lately.
have felt the rage bubble and spit
then grow weary and sit on my diaphram.
perhaps it's the stress of seeing my family.
my search for trust.
the little things about luc surfacing and how
i'm just waiting for the relationship time bomb to explode.
oh ye of little faith.
dad wants us to come over for new years and i'm violently opposed to it
why over invest?
even if he is my father.
sometimes i grow weary of being healthy.
of trying to do 'right'.
of being a partner, a housewife, a mother, business owner and
person with many different smiles.
when i'm alone my lips are pursed.
i run fingers along my bones
the tops of my eye lids
and focus on breathing
because the wrath still sits on my diaphram.
posted by kazumi at 9:47 pm

2 Comments:

wrath creates good writing--why fight it? use it.
Blogger SquirrleyMojo, at 4:48 am  
Sometimes it seems like alot, doesn't it? Trying to make everyone happy, that is. You have no obligation to spend New Year with your father, maybe the 2 of you just need to spend some time together. Do you have a trusty babysitter? Maybe you and Luc can go out for New Year. Don't sweat the small stuff. I always remind myself that about the Citizen. I am sure he does the same with me because I can be a pain too at times.
Blogger junebee, at 6:26 am  

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