The Contingency Plan

Sunday, March 05, 2006

19 Reasons why my parents drive me nuts

Yes, this will be a theraputic post, one that will save me years of punching into my pillow and explain some of my recent angst
  1. My mother says mean things when she's mad. She doesn't know how to argue nicely and will not hesitate in disowning or insulting me when she's angered
  2. I apparently have no right to get upset or angered by this and if she calls me (sans apology) I should act like nothing happened
  3. If I do otherwise I'm showing no respect for her and she'll call all her friends and neighbours and speak to random people on the street to bitch about my lack of appreciation for her
  4. Even though they've been engaged for years, I still haven't met Mum's fiance, I can't remember why. Like everything else, I have no right to be upset about this as she's my mother and I should respect her no matter what she does
  5. Because of this, I don't know where she lives (haven't for years) and she won't give out her home number
  6. She flaunts her lover's money all.the.time. Tiffany rings, convertible sports cars, first class trips around the world... whatever makes you happy, but it annoys me how the money makes her act superior to everyone
  7. Mum blatantly favours my brother. She's even bought a property for him, without him even wanting it. When he asks her to stop behaving this way (taking him lunch at work, giving him pocket money, buying him clothes, etc.), she acts like a wounded victim and will tactlessly call me crying
  8. If I call her to meet up she'll always need to consult her calendar, even if the event is months away, which I find unnecessarily pretentious
  9. She gets angery at my Dad for things she also does. When I point this out point no. 1 will occur
  10. She's still angry at me for not supporting her enough during her divorce, even though she split the country for six months straight after the separation, not letting anyone know where she was, whether she was alright and leaving me to support my younger brother and sister
  11. Mum indiscriminantly complains to people about the weight I've put on in recent years. She's even done this to a number of close friends of mine who defended me and later told me
  12. Both parents consistenly lie to me, often about stupid things that I easily find out
  13. Dad will do almost anything to avoid saying sorry even if it means avoiding me for a year
  14. He's a total coward when it comes to confrontation
  15. Dad is a womaniser and has no problem picking up girls younger than me in front of me. If I bring it up he'll deny it and then carry on as if I said nothing - time and place Dad, time and place!
  16. He has major issues when it comes to money and can be quite stingy with everything except gifts for his girlfriends
  17. His favourite thing to do is to complain. Usually about money or what to do with his many girlfriends
  18. Both are totally self-engrossed, show absolutely no interest in anything I or my siblings do and invest their time in useless people
  19. Despite all of this, I deeply love them, am often soft, give in, forgive easily and am highly protective of them, which of course makes me feel like a manipulated fool
...And breath out.
posted by kazumi at 5:17 pm

3 Comments:

Oh geez, they must surely drive you nuts between the two of them. The first 3 items seem to be typical Chinese mother descriptions, a la my own MIL and what I read about Amy Tan's mother in Amy Tan's writings.

Interesting, isn't your dad the martial arts teacher, yet he's afraid of emotional confrontation?!

But how are they with Hugo?
Blogger junebee, at 10:08 am  
Yeah I'm a real sucker for any Joy Luck Club-esque movie that depicts the Asian mother-daughter relationship.

I think everyone in my family's scared of my mum. I'm literally the only one who stands up to her, hence our love/hate relationship.

I know my folks love Hugo, but are often too busy to see him and if things are tense with me, they'll avoid seeing him, which gives me the shits as I don't think my relationship with them should dictate Hugo's relationship with them.

Hope you find your MIL less complicated!
Blogger kazumi, at 3:44 pm  
feel your pain

i am in need of therapy
my parents are CRAZY literally
Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:23 am  

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