The Contingency Plan

last saturday dad and natasha (my sister) moved out into natasha's new townhouse.

i was lucky because dad asked if he could throw out some of my old things before moving (no) and then even luckier that he offered to then bring them 'round.

when he came by, he said something like 'hello, i'm here with the box. elizabeth's in the car but don't go there because she's terrified of you and isn't in the mood'.

ok. hello to you too.

elizabeth's been dad's on and off again girlfriend for about two years now. she's a few years older than me (at least 30 years younger than dad) and this was the first time i'd seen her. when i looked over at the car though, elizabeth was sitting on the front side passenger seat, bent over (so her chest and knees were touching), hands over her head, which was lying on the dash board.

i asked dad if she was somehow trying unsuccessfully to hide and he mumbled 'yes'.

okay......

so luc, dad and i walked over to dad's car to get the boxes but it felt so juvenille to ignore elizabeth so i wandered over to her, tapped on the window and said 'hello'. she sat in the same position, crunched over, eyes open and looking at the ground.

i tried again.

still no answer.

so i opened the door to bridge the gap, just in case she was upset, but also so she would acknowledge me.

'hi elizabeth', i said in a friendly, 'don't be scared of me' tone.

nope. nothing. so i tried again, perhaps a little sterner tone. same result, except this time she closed her eyes with a dirty expression on her face and turned her back to me.

uhuh.

i gently put my hand on her shoulder and said, 'are you ok?'

she had acknowledged me by turning away but was still refusing to see me.

'you can't be serious?' i asked.

'elizabeth?'

still no answer. these were not the actions of a scared woman. she was fucking rude.

i knew she would never turn around or even look me in the eye so i closed the door and said hello to her three year old son in the back seat who just looked at me and then also turned his back.

i'm usually quick with a comeback in these situations, but was absolutely bewildered.

dad was walking back to the car with luc so i approached him to say i couldn't believe how rude elizabeth was to me.

he said, 'don't worry about it' and rushed over to the car to leave.

i said i was amazed someone could behave that way. he said he'd come over during the week without her to see me. i told him i didn't believe him.

the scene was still calm and i walked into the house feeling quite humiliated and very puzzled.

luc told dad that he's a bad man (ha!).

it's wednesday and i still haven't heard from him.

i'm not that phased by elizabeth's actions, but i am offended that dad would let someone treat me that way.

he's been avoiding my calls ever since saturday so i left a voice message on his phone today telling him not to avoid me or the situation as it just drags things out. i don't know whether he'll listen to it.

between us internets, i keep dreaming of ways i can hurt him (hard when you're dad is a ninth dan) or get under his skin as he so easy gets under mine. thank God i'm busy with work this week.

Who is Natasha? I would have thought that was his girlfriend.

If Elizabeth has a beef that her boyfriend's daughter is about her age, well, uh, MAYBE she shouldn't be involved with him! She's an adult too. Maybe she's just looking for a ticket for herself and her child.

Natasha's my sister. She's 20 years old, we're pretty close.

I think you've hit the jackpot with the ticket suggestion. Elizabeth doesn't work. Dad supports her and her child and purchases everything they need. The reason Dad and I had a falling out last year was because I was mad that he would do all of this for his girlfriend (and her child) and would refuse to help my brother and sister with little things they needed. He should look after his own children before providing for others!

at the risk of sounding judgmental, it's amazing to me that you turned out to be such a responsible, loving person despite your mother's and father's repeated immature behavior.

Oh, thanks for explaining who Natasha is. Yes I think your dad should help his own kids prior to providing for a woman and a child and the child isn't even his.

Ditto what Michelle said.

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about this. How awful and unusual and strange that Elizabeth acted that way. I think you handled the situation really well... as well as anyone can possibly be expected to handle it. Hugs.