The Contingency Plan

I've become cynical. I lately loathe any kind of "you can do anything" hype that's so prevalent in today's society. Television seems to be full of this rhetoric, kids shows in particular.

I've been trying to figure out why this grates on me so much. Raised in a very penticostal church (Hillsong anyone?), I was conditioned from a very early age to believe that I can change the world, can really 'leave my mark' on the globe, am destined for greatness and can achieve great things. The definitions of 'changing the world' or 'greatness' were never outlined, but being young this had everything to do with something huge and very distant from every day life.

My every day life has been something I've considered in great detail lately. My ten year high school reunion is this year (and may have already passed) and although I don't keep in touch with anyone and have no desire to attend, I still can't help but think of the bullet points that would be on repeat. I mean isn't the purpose of such reunions to swap basic (career/kids) information, comment on how everyone looks and go home hopefully feeling so accomplished in comparison to everyone else?

These would be my bullet points:

1. I own a pretty successful PR agency with a business partner after working for one of the country's best/largest agencies for years (Chloe and I recently met with our accountant/financial planner who was very encouraged by our first-year progress)

2. I've been in a relationship with Luc for seven years this year and we have an 18 month old son. We're not married, don't want to hurry it and have no plans in the next 6-8 months of having more kids either

3. I've travelled throughout Asia (Bali, Philliphines, Thailand, Japan, Taiwan) and Canada in between a hectic work schedule and plan on much much more

4. I'm about 15kgs heavier. I'm sure this would be a delight for some as I was voted as having one of the top 5 bodies throughout high school - don't we all love to see people "let go"!?

5. I don't keep in touch with anyone, live within a few kilometres from the city, don't own the house we live in but plan on buying something in the next couple of years

I'm quite happy with these developments in writing but if I were to be honest, I'm still searching for that extra something. I can't help but wonder whether that's because I subconsciously believe I haven't reached my 'greatness' yet. It seems so silly but may be the case.

As a teen I heard almost every week that I was 'destined for greatness', 'had a higher purpose' in life and 'could change the world'. Over and over these catch phrases were drilled into mind to the point where helping my mother with housework or proactively being nice to my little sister was such a drag because I had world changing to do, conferences to attend, strangers to 'save'. Yes, I'm obviously very far away from that now.

Although I don't like inspirational quotes as much as I did when I was younger, Gordan once gave me a card with the following quote on a magnet, I love it because it helps to keep me grounded:

"To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch... to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!" - Emerson.

I understand we tell children that they can do anything to instill a sense of drive and self esteem, but somehow I wonder whether this dilutes the greatness of everyday life.

And the thing I keep thinking about is this: Is teaching our kids to think they're omipotent actually healthy?

Will they overlook the wonderful things they can do in their circle of friends, local community and family because their dreams involve so much greatness?

Found you thru Sarah's blog.

My 20th high school reunion is this summer and although we are glad to go (my husband and I graduated together), it really is all those things you describe. Ah, well! :)

I've read thru many of your posts, very fun! I'll be back!

Hey Angela,

I can only imagine what a 20 year reunion is like!

I just checked my old highschool homepage to see if there was information listed about our 10 year reunion and the site hasn't been updated since 2001.

I think that speaks volumes of what the school was like.

And to top it off, Australia won their first game of the World Cup.

I'm ambivalent on the achievement subject too. Of course we don't want to squash our kid's ambitions, but there is reality to consider. And as you mentioned, the small but wonderful things in life such as family, cooking and eating a good meal, a great book or piece of music, etc.

I've never been to a high school reunion. My mom and aunt attend them often but I don't think one of us kids has. To me high school was just something to get through in order to get to college.

I have to agree with you on high school. I couldn't wait to get out and leave the general area too.

And although I'm no way near as fanatic about football as Luc is, I was still very happy we won our first game, yay! Football/soccer is no way near as big as rugby and cricket, despite nearly every boy under the age of 10 playing it here so it'll hopefully provide some much-needed exposure/variety/better looking eye candy.