The Contingency Plan

Growing up in Australia with most of my family overseas, it was hard for me to feel connected or related to someone. Plus there was the fact that my siblings and I look so different to everyone else. We don't look fully Asian and definitely not Scottish!

The first time I really felt the bond of blood was around five years ago when I first started emailing my Scottish cousin, let's call him John. Although the correspondance was electronic, there was a definite, palpable connection. We spent hours emailing stories (he's crammed around five lifetimes into his current 40 or so years), poetry, drawings, memories, descriptions of family members, etc. I absolutely revelled in his words, which I felt such an affinity with.

Leading the very busy lives that we do, John and I haven't been as consistently in touch over the last few years. I usually call him on those long nights that I can't sleep and this time we followed it up with a few emails too.

And oh how utterly heartwarming it has been.

I have poured out my essence, the distance providing some safety and comfort in the process.

And because he's so far away I also gave him the URL to this blog with a mixture of fear and excitment.

And this is part of what he wrote back:

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My favorite moments on the journey of your blog are.....

i've realised i can't rely on other people to show me there's still good in the world. so, i've been trying to show it to myself instead.

are we unrealistically looking for perfect jobs that don't have any challenges or downfalls?

Dark and folded, pinned into me as validation.

But I learnt from a young age that my family and I didn't fit in.

It happened so quickly. Life becoming death in a matter of moments.

It's usually during these silent scenes at night when I sit and remember who I am.

Come home, goof around in the silence and BAM!

So dear friends I've decided to plan something. Surprise him. Woo him. But my mind is blank. I have nothing.

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I know he's so busy but boy, his blog would be an absolutely fascinating read. Yes, much like mine.

So, does he have a blog we can read?

I wasn't close to my cousin till I moved to Florida (he moved here prior to me). Now we're much closer than we ever were as kids. He's 6 years older than me.

I hope my kids don't feel like they don't fit in. I heard it can be tough for bi-racial children since both races consider them aliens.

I don't think John has a blog. He'd make a spectacular blog writer though.

I think Branch and Blossom will have a fabulous upbringing. We definitely didn't feel like aliens, perhaps somewhat of a novelty at times but nothing really derogitory. My parents never stood for any of that bullshit. Plus I think having kids of mixed race is quite commonplace now.

The interesting thing about mixed cultures is that they're everywhere. Whether you're bi-racial or not, I think the important thing here is to instill a strong sense of value and worth in your child and help them accept and deal with different cultures. We're all aliens.

Ok, getting off my soap box now.... :)