The Contingency Plan

Gordon's Dad died yesterday morning.

He passed quietly in a hospital bed. His wife by his side.

He was tired. Had suffered another heart attack on Saturday. He was over it. Wanted to go. Didn't want his family to endure the burden of home care.

He waited until he had spoken with everyone in the family. And then his heart started to beat a little slower. And a little slower again. Until he faded and was without breath.

Gordon was barely lucid when I called. For a while my earpiece could only hear sharp intakes of air that were being released full of grief and cries that seemed to rise from somewhere beyond his flesh.

Gordon. The one who famously dotes on the beautiful. The one you see at the fashion parties making all the pretty people laugh. The one who you think must either be a photographer or just plain charasmatic (both). The one who despite his daunting talent, holds himself back with fear.

We talked for some time about his father. About life and death in general. I told him that I love him. Offered whatever help he wanted. Made sure they were ok with funeral arrangements and the finances associated. He laughed about how crazy he must look sobbing in the hospital gardens and I thought that seeing him being so honest and exposed in his loss would surely be a beautiful thing.

After we spoke, Gordon went back to the hospital room and sat with his Dad for some time. And for the last two days I can't get that picture out of my mind.

The greyness of the hospital room. The lifeless body of such a loved man. And his oldest son, sitting next to him, still wanting to be near him.

having lost a Father my heart goes out to you ate this rough time!

Surely your support met alot to Gordon.
You're such a good friend.

A long time ago, I had a boyfriend and his mother died. We spent some time in the hospital room afterward. As the sun set, he decided it was time to go. It was real sad and I'll always remember it.

Death is a confusing time. The 'curse' of loving is losing. Luckily, the joy of loving makes it all worth it.
My sympathies.