The Contingency Plan

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The house is quiet and I'd love to write a post, but me head is fuzzy from sickness. Cough cough.

Let's see how I go.

Many blogworthy things have taken place in the last few weeks but there has been little time to write. Or I've been brainlessly watching television in that time.

The Wolf has grown into a little boy. This is him at the park. He is such a funny, soft hearted boy. We recently visited the stunning three month old baby of a good friend of mine and he laid on the couch directly opposite the wee child for quite some time, gently stroking her face and hands and saying in a very soothing tone 'why' over and over again, which was very cute! I didn't mind him hanging with us as her older brother (three years old) absolutely bollocks Wolf whenever they play together. This time, spoons were thrown at his head, he was pulled out of a toy car, violently yelled at, smacked... his mother (who I really adore) doesn't really discipline the boy and it's certainly not my job. I have to say that I don't see them as often as I'd like because of this.

We're moving to suburbia.... I know I've neglected to mention suburbs before, but for any Sydney-based readers, we lived in McMahons Point for nearly four years, had a short stint in Chatswood, then moved to Lewisham for a year and now reside in Drummoyne. For the last six years, a trip into the city has consisted of 10 minutes, depending on traffic. We've been near the water, beaches, fantastic restaurants and most of our friends, but that will all change.... We've looked at a few houses in the Hills district, which is around a 20-60 minute drive from the city, depending on traffic and although I'm excited, I feel as though I'm entering a new chapter of my life, the suburban mother phase, and it absolutely terrifies me.

Gone will be my options of a reckless drink with friends, last minute showers 30 minutes before client meetings, cool ocean breezes at sunset, the tangible buzz from the city and friends crashing at our place if the ride home is too far. After the jump, a taxi from the city will cost at least $70, I'll be in the thick of suburbia where the temperature is at least 3-5 degrees hotter and won't be able to feel a certain sense of cool about being on the fringe. The suburbs are not cool.

But my mother, my brother and my sister won't have to schedule time in the diary to pop over. They'll be five minutes away. They'll pop in all the time, which would really be so great. Our lives will be intertwined again. I'll be close to Drew and Mum might even look after the Wolf a couple days a week, which would eliminate the need for an au pair. We'll be able to own a house that isn't the size of a shoe box - one with room for everyone's own bedroom, guest rooms, an office and have an actual back yard with a pool! I'll be able to buy furniture without worrying whether it'll fit into the 'next place' and most of all, I won't have to deal with real estate agents. Ever. Again.

I saw a place that I completely adored last week but it sold before we could make an offer. I was devastated, even thought it was way over our budget. And then yesterday a client who Chloe and I REALLY wanted to work with decided to go with another agency after a few fantastic meetings and a pitch. We were so very very disappointed (even though I'm determined to learn from the experience and keep moving on).

Two nights ago I had a dream that there was a war and I escaped and went to heaven via an elevator. The scene was chaotic and frantic, I was alone and desperate for my child. I approached a shop-like counter, where all the babies were being held but when I went to ask for him, couldn't remember his name. But then I saw him, held him and instantly felt immediate comfort, intense elation and security. Lucas wasn't there. My brother and sister weren't there as they were at church (uhuh, let's read into that!) and my mother and father were busy with new families.

This Saturday, Mum, Natasha, Harry, Luc, Hugo and I are driving up the coast to Port Macquarie for a week. This will be our first family holiday in nearly ten years. I can't wait. Luc will stay for the weekend before returning home to work. I will be far away from client calls, media requests and deadlines. I've bought four new swimsuits and the night I return will be my 10/11 year high school reunion.

Congratulations on the new home! It sure will take some adjustment though. It sounds like you had the best of everything before - except affordable housing.

will you post some pictures from the family vacation? I think the only pic I've seen from your family other than Hugo is your dad (yeah, sorry I mentioned it.) Have a great week.

wow he's getting so big! I'll tell you kazumi, i'd kill to have my family five minutes away, even if it meant leaving fabulous breezy citylife behind for the blandness of suburbia. hopefully, i'm right behind you on that track.

The house sounds like a pretty good move to me! You guys are really lucky to be in a position to be able to buy a home.

Have a great time on your holiday! I hope it creates some really nice memories for all of you.

What a beautiful boy! He's not a baby anymore, that's for sure.

The new house sounds wonderful, good luck with the moving and all that. It might be nice to be closer to your family, etc.

Your vacation also sounds fantastic and beautiful. Hope you have a great time!