The Contingency Plan

it's a gorgeous day here: glowing and kind with a cool breeze.

hugo is happily occupied with his trucks, creating fake garbage from scrunched pieces of paper to place in his miniature vehicles to dump. i adore his sound effects and quiet chatter but might distract him shortly to rescue my favourite necklace that's being transported from one vehicle to another.

if my break up with luc were to be experienced with steps, then i think i've reached the next level. we've settled our child support agreement, custody and the division of assets, hugo is used to him leaving at night and i prefer it when he's not around. there seems to be momentum and acceptance, even if it's still awfully painful.

luc seems to pay more attention to hugo now that we're separated. he comes over a few nights a week to be with him and they play, read books, talk - luc was always preoccupied when we were together, always tired from work. yesterday they spent the day outside and luc actually dressed him, brushed his teeth, washed his face and got his bag ready without complaint. it was a first. he never did this with me and although that makes me sad, i think we're all better off if the separation means more happy, quality time for hugo where he sees his dad actively doing things instead of just sitting at his computer.

isn't it strange how one person can affect your life so much? i feel like i've unhatched from an egg. i actually feel younger, even though my life isn't necessarily easier. i'm making new friends, loving my freelance work, i've lost a lot of weight and have gained a great deal of fitness. i did an intermediate/advance dance class yesterday and loved it. and, god bless him, was even hit on by a nineteen year old boy last week who was amazed that i had finished university. he figured out that i'm older than 23 this week when i told him that my longest relationship lasted seven years. cute.

i'm going away in september for three days with penelope and four other girlfriends to the country. we've hired out a couple of comfortable rooms, have already booked in treatments (massages, facials) and i cannot wait. we're all really looking forward to it. i can't remember the last time i went away and bonded with some girlfriends. penelope had to talk me into it and i'm glad that she did.

Wow. I'm really happy to hear such positive things are resulting from all of this! I hope it keeps up. The holiday sounds fantastic!

hooray for spa treatments and younger men. ;) sounds like things are progressing well. it's great to hear that luc is stepping up in the day-to-day caretaking. that will be one less thing for you to worry about.

Interesting that he pays more attention to Hugo now. But that's good for the boy. Have fun on your 3-day weekend.