The Contingency Plan

Wolf is asleep and I'm sitting, tipsy, in front of my laptop after drinking a glass of the delightful Reisling I bought while away with the girlfriends this weekend. Our new au-pair has gone out with our old one, the baton happily passing from one to another.

One glass and I feel almost drunk... one glass.

And I've decided, while in this lush obscurity that I need to find someone frivolous to date. Need. Need. Need. Nothing serious. He has to have a fatal flaw so I don't fall.

I need to so desperately because I have spoken to the lawyer almost everyday for the past two weeks and find myself missing him when I don't. We joke, we laugh, we share. Our conversations are always interesting and witty. He makes me laugh. I have a great time whenever we go out for dinner (weekly, just the two of us). He thinks that speaking every day isn't too much, but I'm starting to think that is. We usually chat before sleeping at night and I don't want to let go of the fantasy as it's something. I currently have nothing and Hugo has come home saying the name of Luc's girlfriend, the one he still denies.

My infatuation is stupid as the lawyer isn't right for me. I don't think we have the same interests. He's a borderline hypocondriac. He's a mamma's boy who lives a relatively priveledged and sheltered life. It would never work. But he's sweet, considerate, funny, handsome, successful and we have chemistry. We talk for hours. God, I miss that zing. If he didn't have a girlfriend I would say we were already seeing eachother. Can you see how stupid that alone sounds? This is fucking stupid after what Luc has done to me, even if it is just flirting. The lawyer hates Luc too. What on earth am I doing to myself? Please don't answer this.

We're having dinner on Wednesday night, the lawyer and me, and I think I'll give our correspondence a serious break after that. I have to for my own self-preservation.

I think giving the correspondence a serious break is a good idea for now.
I can't see anything good happening out of getting involved with ones own lawyer, especially in this circumstance.