The Contingency Plan

Being single again is delightfully strange after a seven-year relationship. It's been nearly six months since Luc and I separated and some of my friends have already started to suggest dates. There's been a hot highschool teacher, a blush-worthy builder and intense IT guy, but I've absolutely avoided any serious situation, especially in connection to valued friends.

The thought of another long term relationship absolutely repulses me.

I'm amazed at how much my relationship with Luc has changed me. Perhaps it's not so much what he has done but how I've reacted. Keeping his secret my own for so many months and having to act almost without emotion when I felt disembowelled has built a second strength and a way of compartmentalising things I didn't think I was capable of.

I think a large part of me is angry at the way Luc almost stripped me of my sexuality. There were years of almost no intimacy, carefully covered under the guise of tiredness and stress, when he was in fact with other women. I remained faithful and frustrated, my confidence waning with each passing day.

I was concerned it would be hard to find a date when I first started going out. I was very aware of the fact that I'm a young single mother who leads a pretty demanding life. I don't have a lot of time inbetween Wolf, my career, my family and friends, managing the house and dance class. And for some reason, a stereotype lingers which suggests I instantly want commitment and marriage from a man because of my situation, which clearly is not the case for me. Men can be fearful of the fact that I have a child, but sometimes even more intimidated by the fact that I'm reasonably successful, independent and have a live-in nanny at 28 years old.

Inspite of this, I've wanted to lead somewhat of a double-life for some time now, but it can be tricky to find the right person. The thought of an illicit and arcane affair excites me, especially given my arrangement with Luc where I have every second weekend free of the Wolf. The balance of being a mum one weekend and something quite the opposite, without the awareness of anyone else, appeals to me more than anything else.

And so it was quite coincidental when I met a rather charasmatic man recently on a Friday night through a mutual acquainance. Eight years my senior (but hidden magnificently through amazing genes), we quickly bonded over cheeky conversation and he soon realised a common interest after six hours of an abundance supply of alcohol.

I've since been entertaining a candidly open and casual little affair with this very experienced single man. No one knows of our arrangement and we're both absolutely fine with that.

There's a theory that you attract the energy that you put out there and I think this just may be the case.

you're taking sexy back from luc. work it!

What Chanchow said. And I myself hae had a couple of secret lives (mostly kept secret from nosy office co-workers). It's rather fun.

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