The Contingency Plan

Wow, I'm really amazed at how much my thoughts have revolved around the opposite sex.

Sure, I've been "quite content" as a single gal, but since my resolution last night to ban courting attention, my thought patterns around this other species has been highlighted.

I think about boys all the time.

It influences the way I walk (ok, strut), the eye contact I have with people when I'm out, I'm consistently and quite sub-consciously examining most men I come across to determine whether I'd hypothetically like them, I flirt over email, actually, I flirt all the time. I love flirting....

But no, focus Kazumi!

This has been quite a revelation to me. I'm sincerely challenged to focus on other things now like being with friends, dancing, working, writing (I'm thinking of contributing to a magazine that I love), refining my interiors, expanding my music collection... In all of this, a thing that has comforted me is that I don't dress for men. No, clothes have become such a personal expression for me since loosing all of my weight. This brings me such joy.

But not as much as flirting.