The Contingency Plan

At times I wonder if I'm lying when I say that Luc and I have an "amicable" relationship.

On the surface, the statement rings true. It's been months and months since our last nasty exchange. We're in touch at least a few times a week, usually over messenger, our conversations vary from discussing Wolf to music to the day's events and are generally pretty pleasant. I think we're quite considerate of each other. I happily shift our schedule if he needs time. He recently picked Wolf and me up when I left my car at work (client event), drove me into the office and took Wolf to kindy before driving back into the city to start his day. He still asks me for career advice and I still get him to fix any IT woe I have.

Despite this, he has become a father again and failed to tell me about the birth of his new baby (boy). I found out over a week after the birth (in true form via messenger) and we shared a pretty distressing conversation. He claimed unhappiness. Said he felt the decision was a one-sided one, that he didn't want greater responsibilities, another child. He felt it was all an incredible mistake. He expressed disappointment over the whole experience - it wasn't the same as when we had Hugo and he feels uncomfortable talking about it with me as he didn't want to have a child with anyone but me.

The next day I checked in to see if things had improved. They hadn't. And he asked me to move overseas with him. Again.

Fast forward another week and he offered to pay for my accommodation for a year if I move with him (we'd return here in time for Wolf to start school). He then added that if K is the only thing holding me back, then she doesn't need to come with us...

Luc came over last Wednesday night to drop Hugo off. The three of us shared a mixed mushroom risotto I had made for dinner and strawberries afterwards for dessert. Luc and I had a glass of wine. Hugo ate everything without contest. Luc played with our son and put on a show for him while I did the dishes. We then briefly spoke about the issue. Hugo called us onto the lounge and we sat on either side of him. Elated, he made a comment about how great it was that we were all together and would cuddle me and then with his dad, happily shifting between us because he could.

I firmly said that I wouldn't move with him and had no intention of breaking up of a family home and although he tried to pursuade me otherwise, Luc didn't push the point. We both changed Wolf into his pyjamas. I took our little boy to bed and Luc lingered, wandering around the house before reading a magazine.

Weary from the day, I stayed in bed and Luc left after closing the windows, turning off the lights and softly saying goodbye.

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untrustworthy bastard.



don't fall.

i won't fall squirrley. the situation reminds me of what he did when we were together. above all, my main concern now is the happiness and well being of wolf - i can handle the rest.

he's definitely an untrustworthy bastard.