The Contingency Plan

Sunday, October 12, 2008

It's taken me over a year and a half to feel genuine positivity about my life since separating with Luc. And now that I've gained this perspective, I'm really protective of it.

I like my life. I naturally adore time with my son, who turns four next month (!!). I love being his Mum. I enjoy my job, my clients and the people that I work with. I like my little house. I have an amazing network of friends and family and all of the drama that dominated my family life when my parents separated has waned. My brother and sister are dating really great people and it makes me so happy to see it. We have big family get togethers again and they're warm, fun and no one ever really wants to go.

So in amongst all of this, Luc's girlfriend sent me a text message:

"I have the content of the conversation that you and Luc had last Wednesday where you speculated upon the parentage of my child. I have spoken to L about it and have forwarded the message onto his mother. Please never contact me again and you are no longer welcome in my home. K"

I was pretty shocked when I received this message. Although I can see how she could be offended, the reference was actually a dig I made at Luc because he asked me the same thing when I was pregnant. But of course she wouldn't know this without asking me.

K and I have been on pretty good terms lately so I'm pretty bummed that it's come to this, but with that said, I've only been to her place a handful of times to pick up Wolf. I certainly don't linger.

I realise my role is the scapegoat but despite this there are surely larger issues at hand. Why is she snooping through his computer? The main focus on the conversation she mentioned was Luc complaining to me that he's unhappy, didn't want to have the child, thought it was a one-sided decision, isn't excited, thinks it's been a big mistake, didn't plan to have a baby with anyone but me and doesn't know what to do. That would've been a horrendous thing to read within two weeks of your baby being born (especially with all of those hormones!).

Besides the joke mentioned, my response to his outburst is that he needs to pull it together as he now has two sons who equally need him. And that I'm happy to spend extra time with Wolf so he can adjust and help K out, as she apparently experienced a horrendous birth.

Anyway, I have responded and was thankfully with five close girlfriends at the time so we discussed the situation and possible consequences in depth.

I avoided any digs about how justified would have been in making such a statement, especially since she was married and cheated on her husband with my partner. And I didn't make any mention some of the bigger issues she has at hand like the overseas offer he made to me the day after that conversation. I really have no intention of being involved in the possible break up their relationship.

So instead I wrote this:

"It was a personal joke taken out of context... I am sorry if this was hurtful but it was unintended. Please understand that my sole priority and interest is the well being of hugo, so that is the last i will say on the matter. What you think and do is a matter entirely for you."

She hasn't responded.

Nevertheless, Luc did a few days later saying that she unfortunately found what she was looking for and that his mother didn't appreciate the message as she thinks very highly of me. He said it was unfortunate that she found the conversation as it wouldn't have been a pleasant thing to read, but it was a conversation never meant for her eyes.

I since haven't asked any questions about his relationship with K because I sincerely have no interest in it. It's none of my business. And although I have no desire to get back together with him, I'm thankful that I now have a great excuse to avoid meeting his other child.

Above all of this, I'm really thankful that I can just leave all of that drama and happily carry on with the little life that I have.
posted by kazumi at 12:14 pm

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