The Contingency Plan

I woke up early this morning. I did a few loads of laundry, indulged in a long shower, opened up all the windows and downed a glass of Pepsi while looking at the sun shimmering on the waking waters.

It felt like a brilliant start.

There's nothing I relish more than spare time. Hugo was taking a nap with Tash (who's been staying with us for the past few days) so I took the opportunity to check my email and suddenly my stomach churned. I hesitated and then clicked on the link. She'd finally replied to my message.

Ali and I became friends through work. We instantly clicked and spent a lot of our spare time together. We spoke almost every day, we shared our writing, wrote together, drew attention, caused havoc on the town and she even ventured to call us kindred spirits. Although it was a little sentimental for me, I quietly agreed. The bond was undeniable.

This continued for months as our friendship deepened but she abruptly stopped talking to me after a picnic Luc and I had last February. By this time Ali had met Tim, who she was smitten with (on New Years of all nights) and Tim and Luc had become fast friends. After this, Tim stopped talking to Luc as well. The only thing we could think of was that Tim didn't want to leave the party and Ali got pissed as they were suppose to meet her sister that night.

I've mentioned it briefly in a past post, but never confronted her about it as I decided to just let it go.

Fast forward a few more months and shortly after the birth of Hugo, Ali started to call and chat to me online about the experience and how I was faring. We'd talk for hours and I mistook this interest as genuinely concern, but then discovered she was also pregnant. As soon as I learnt this, the correspondance abruptly ended again.

Yes, I know, I should've forgotten about her at this point, but as sappy as it sounds, I was sincerely worried. I found pregnancy to be an emotional experience. Ali's relationship with Tim was only 12 months young, they had never lived together, he was a studying artist whose only income was a part time job at an art store and her family lives interstate so I wanted to make sure she felt supported. So I called a few times, wrote a couple of emails and sms'ed her mobile phone to just say 'hi' but never received a single reply.

So last Sunday I couldn't sleep and decided it was time to face things. I had a hunch she felt like I'd done something to hurt her and wanted to express that I really didn't know what it was but wanted to make things right between us, not so we could become close again, but just so the situation was set straight. I wrote the note carefully, said I'd follow it up with a phone call a few days later and pressed 'send'.

So over a week and a phone message later I read the opening sentence:

"Sorry I’ve been a bit elusive of late but things in my life are changing a lot and very quickly."

I knew this was the case and kept on reading...

"As you know, once you have the baby there is minimal time just for each other or those close to you – so our evenings have become “our” time where we both turn off phones and just spend time together."

U-huh...

"Unfortunately that only leaves the days for me and my own head space and with having to start mentally preparing for leaving work for a few months these have been incredibly hectic, along with everything else.

"I guess you could say that I have chosen to pull back from many people in my life solely for the reason that I need to make more time for “me”, my friends and family.

"Hope Wolfie is well.

Thanks,
Ali"

I was disappointed. She didn't ask about me, there was no reference to why this all happened and I couldn't believe she could be so cold, I obviously don't fit into her 'friends' category anymore. There were times in the past when I felt lonely, but Luc and I have a fantastic group of close friends now so I just don't need this.

I feel a little relieved, but nevertheless sad.

I don't think I'm going to reply to that note and think after Sophie and Ali, I really don't need any more dramatic, childish chums.

Thanks Hokkaidoabbey :)
I agree and totally understand the insufficient free-time aspect. We all live busy lives so I'm rarely fussed over that.
Chloe and I briefly discussed it last night as we were having dinner and she worked closely with Ali, and she said Ali's done this to a number of close girlfriends lately.
My g'friends have been invaluable since giving birth, especially the few with babies as there's so much to discuss and relate to. The morale support has been priceless so I fear Ali may be causing more long term misery than anything else... but she's made it clear that's no longer my concern so oh well...