The Contingency Plan

I realised tonight that I've had this blog for three years and a few extra days. Wow.

I was reading through some old entries tonight and although I feel really attached to this body of writing, I don't think I can continue anymore.

There's so much I want to share here, but it's become too taxing. I made the mistake of using someone's real name (which was googled and linked back here) and shared this address with a few people that I wanted develop a closer relationship with, and well, they were both mistakes.

As a result, there are people who know me that read this and it bothers me that they do now, mainly because the relationship is not reciprocal. I don't know their private thoughts and feelings and this is too much power. It's too intrusive.

What's kept me blogging for so long is how compelled I often feel to write and the loyal bloggers who in turn, read and comment.

I admit I'm in a real state of confusion and depression. I don't know the direction I should take (in regards to a few major different aspects) and think I'll finally seek some professional help with finding my way.

It almost seems fitting that my last post is one where I'm unhappy and in search of another path. Much like my first post.