The Contingency Plan

Luc and I received a letter in the post yesterday from the owners of this house to inform us that our 12 month lease will expire in two weeks and that they want the property vacated then.

By the 19th December.

Yes, five days before Christmas.

There is almost nothing decent around right now.

I hate that I have to deal with moronic real estate agents again and am feeling VERY sorry for myself/my family.

It started off as a picnic at Bronte beach for Ivy's 30th birthday but ended up being a candid photo shoot of Hugo. Here are some of the shots Ivy took.

Chloe recently had family shots done (of herself, Louis and her hubby) and although the photographer is very talented, he is charging over $7,000 for four (4) canvases, four (4) framed enlarged prints and a 10 print outs. Ridiculous. Apparently the sitting was done for free and yes, this includes in special 20% discount.

Ivy and I are planning a family photo session that involves studio-esque shots at home (we have the perfect walls and natural light for it) and then an afternoon/sunset at the beach. I'm hoping to get them done for distribution as Christmas presents. I'd ideally like to put them in this calendar, which is so damn cute in real life!

Our gorgeous little boy turned two over two weeks ago now and I have not blogged a single thing about it. Sorry.

Although I originally a planned a dazzling disco, the idea developed into something a little too extravagent for a party he won't remember. I couldn't justify the costs and it was a bit too taxing on my time, especially to coordinate around two major work events and the funeral of Gordon's dad.

Sooooooo. We went with a 'truckin tea party' theme and oh, it was fun. Our house was filled with around 30 people, the open plan living space was transformed into three chill out areas, one of which was on the backyard deck alongside a big train and truck track (say that ten times).

I raided thrift and second hand shops beforehand and found fantastic vintage wooden trucks, books and toys to style with construction hats and tea party things.

AND I baked the following things from scratch:
* Sausage rolls with spicy homemade tomato sauce
* Zucchini cakes with yoghurt dipping
* Variety of club and finger sandwiches
* Scones (served with cream and gourmet jams)
* Carrot cake
* Raspberry cheesecake cupcakes (with a deliciously dark and chocolatey oreo cookie base)
* And we also had a big, yummy fruit platter of mango, kiwi, strawberries, watermelon, rockmelon, etc.

Mum bought a delicious 'Thomas the Tank Engine' birthday cake (Hugo LOVES Thomas) but when we sang 'Happy birthday', he didn't seem to like all of the attention and threw a big tantrum, kicking and crying on the floor. And it's not like you can discipline someone during their own happy birthday song...

Apart from that one incident, Hugo was a happy socialite who literally fell asleep in my arms at 8pm, chocolate smeared across his face and hands still clutching a new truck.

Friends stayed on for dinner and it was then that I realised that we had forgotten to take ANY photos. Boo. I have lots of mental snaps though of Hugo running up and down the halls pushing trucks with my brother; him dancing with my sister and girlfriends; watching a new 'Thomas' DVD with his little friends and them all absolutely engaged with the train and truck track.

I still can't believe he's already two.

When I was younger, my mother would suffer from terribly realistic dreams of my father having an affair. He usually cheated on her with one of her friends and she would wake emotional and angry and find it hard to differentiate between this surreal experience and real life.

When Dylan and I had our last falling out, we were discussing his rather traumatic dreams. Of all the people I know, he seems to suffer the most horrific experiences. Drenched with violence, bloodshed and loss, they would linger on his mood for days. It was as though he literally went through the experience and was trying to cope with its aftermath.

And my own dreams are affecting me lately. I also wake as though I've experienced a real life event and am conjuring two common 'types'.

In the first, and most frequent, I have an affair with someone I know or used to be acquainted with. The moments shared between myself and this other are extremely intimate, both physically and emotionally. We become quite bonded yet I suffer great confusion on whether I should leave Luc with Hugo to pursue this new relationship. In some cases, Luc is like a shadow in the dream and not a real person so I can have this extra relationship without it affecting my current one. I wake missing this other person and find it difficult to be warm and loving with Luc. To be (reasonably) fair to Luc, I usually explain that I've had another crazy dream but always tell him that he's the one who's had the affair (!!) as the truth is too close to our past experiences. Luc doesn't remember any of his dreams so he doesn't understand why mine affect me to the extent that they do.

And in the second stream, one of three things occur:

1. My parents die. I sob, loose control of myself to overwhelming grief, plan their funeral and live for a time afterwards with a severe sense of loss. They never die together. Usually Dad dies first and then Mum will follow within two week. The dream always starts once Mum has passed and although I am the person I am today in the dream, my parents were happily together and married when they die, which seems to make the loss greater. I usually wake still crying and sadly bug my mother that day with phone calls to make sure she's still alive!

2. I confront my father for all of the shitty things he's done. I become violently angry yet when I go to hit him, my actions have no force and I am powerless.

3. Sophie either contacts me or we bump into each other at a social event. We're usually happy to see each other but after a short period of time, I become passionately mad at her, usually give her a good verbal bollocking and last night, I literally threw her out of an event.

I think anyone who has read this blog can tell me what these dreams mean. I don't think they're terribly cryptic but wonder whether they may be some kind of 'sign' that I should be doing one thing or another.

Hi.
Sorry it's been so long.
I've been meaning to write.
But then where do I start?
The blogging world seems to be dying off. Lots of my favourite bloggers have stopped writing and I guess I've missed the interactivity of this all. Starting again, finding new blogs to read, can be too hard.
I'm organising a major event tomorrow night and Chloe has just fallen very ill. I should be heading to bed but am a little scared.