The Contingency Plan

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Mix and Match

See if you can match these random facts correctly:

1. No. of phone messages we came home to
2. No. of times I've talked to Luc's Mom since leaving Canada
3. No. of our friends in long term relationships (total of 7) regularly having sex
4. No. of times Luc and I have had sex in the past two years
5. No. of items on my 'to do' list now that I'm home
6. No. of suitcases I've unpacked

a. 2
b. 18
c. 4
d. 69
e. 0
f. 3
posted by kazumi at 11:50 am | link | 5 comments

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

My Top Ten From Our Vancouver Visit

10. It has a really big screen















I visited the River Nile while in Canada. We journeyed from its source to the Mediterraean and it was all thanks to the Omnimax Theatre. It was great. The screen is so big and round that you feel like you're actually in the film. In some of the film's flying parts I actually felt dizzy. They're all only 45 minutes long - perfect for my attention span.

9. A Bloody Big Boat
















For our second week in Canada we visited Nanaimo and Victoria on Vancouver Island. Beyond staying with Luc's extended family, I really enjoyed and was amazed at how big the BC Ferries are - they can hold up to 500 cars!

8. Thanks





















I like Thanksgiving for its simplicity. Forget pomp and presents, just make a shit load of food, invite family and friends over, say a thankful prayer and then eat 'til the stomach under your stretchy pants feels pain.
Luc's Mom made so much food that the turkey couldn't fit on the table. This is a picture of her cutting up the hot bird with her bare hands. Her (delectable homemade) stuffing alone fit into a large serving bowl.
There were seven of us and we had mashed potato (my favourite!), yams, roasted vegetables, two fresh salads, roasted pork, peas, corns, and a different gravy for each of the meats. We all ate two hearty portions and then felt defeated by a table that looked as though we hadn't started.

7. Suspended Fears





















I was reaquainted with my fear of heights on this damn rickety structure. Sure, I know it's technically 'safe', but the thing uncontrollably sways. Behind my smiles were clenched teeth of terror. I couldn't enjoy the simply stunning view because I was too busy silently quoting life confirming affirmations and holding damn tight onto the edge. I've been talked into mountain climbing, abseiling, handgliding, rockclimbing, hell I've even climbed the Harbour Bridge and prefer all of these to the great time I had on the wonderful Capilano Suspension Bridge

6. Show me the Bargains!
















I know it's tacky, but my God did I revel in Cosco and Winners! It's so cheap! There's so much stuff! It's not all trash! Did I mention how cheap it is? We have no such thing in Sydney, everything here is at least two or three times the amount Canadians pay. It's not fair. Mom and I literally spent two very happy days bargain hunting. We bought a bit of everything, which included the extra luggage to hold it all in. We proudly arrived in Canada with only two bags and left shamefully with... seven.


5. Some Kick Ass Moutains
















Going to Vancouver made me realise how flat the land of Sydney is! When I look around here all I can see is Australia or the ocean (yes, I suffer). There are no other countries in sight. So when I reached Vancouver I couldn't believe Mt Baker of Washington can be seen from our street! Wow! And when we flew into Tokyo, we had the most amazing view of Mt Fuji and it's just so spectacular. I fell in love with mountains on this trip. Vancouver is surrounded by them and I find them beautiful, serene and absolutely awe-inspiring.

4. Friday Night Faceoff
















You can't go to Canada without experiencing a live hockey game. The crowds, the speed, the overt aggression. It's fucking tops. Barry surprised us with the tickets, Mom was eager to have alone time with her grandson and Luc and I went, drank beer and ate hotdogs. I loved every moment and thought perhaps I should start playing a competitive sport. Hmmm...

3. Hunting Down a House
















Luc and I would really really like to buy a house but Sydney is so freaking expensive. But go to Vancouver and we can suddenly afford a huge, brand new beautiful home in a really lovely part of town. We met with a number of mortgage brokers who are peachy keen to throw some cash so we're thinking why not? If all goes to plan we hope to board a plane again in 6-12 months for a one-way trip to a new home. Yay!

2. A Night to Remember
















I didn't think much of it. The woman can't cook for her own birthday. So I took charge, told Barry to invite everyone, created a delicious menu of my favourite crowd pleasers and got to work. Luc and his brother Boris drove me to get whatever I needed, helped me in the kitchen and she was banished to the lounge where Barry was ordered to keep her wine glass full. Just before I server the mains she announced, tearfully, that this was her first birthday party. No one had ever cooked for her or even made a cake in her 47 years. The rest of the night was a delightful mix of indulgent food, wine, laughter and music - quite perfect really.

1. Luc's Family




















Yes, let's all say it together now... Awwwwww. Yes, it's so corny but his family kicks ass. Besides the super cheap homes, beautiful landscape and culture, Luc's family are the main reason we want to move there. I just realised I don't have a picture of us all together so this one will have to do. I love them. Enough said.

posted by kazumi at 8:55 pm | link | 3 comments

Welcome Back!

After 30 hours of travelling, Luc, Hugo and I arrived home yesterday relieved and eager to rest. My feelings towards Sydney were mixed, but I thought to deal with it after I'd adjusted to the jetlag and thick, invading heat.

I was so happy to see my sister. We'd been writing long emails throughout our trip and achieved a closeness we haven't experienced since living together. I convinced her to skip school and stay with us for the day, which proved to be a good move as Sydney wasn't taking rejection well.

We arrived home to a nightmare travellers fear: being locked out. A quick call to our real estate agent revealed a spot property inspection had taken place while we were away. They had locked both locks on our door, which we don't usually do as we only have one key. I was dreadfully unimpressed and it got worse as upon arriving, hot, tired and with luggage still in the car, I then had an argument with the receptionist due to her totally unprofessional and unnecessary attitude. But before I could I reach over and stab her with the keys I'd just received, the office manager came out and nicely overcompensated by being extremely kind.

So we were home, the place was spotless and within minutes our bags were open and I was showing Nash her presents and other goods we'd happily aquired. We were all hungry, thirsty and the fridge was empty (actually it contained rotten food we'd forgotten to take out) so Luc grabbed the car keys and volunteered to do some grocery shopping. Two minutes later he was back as our car wouldn't start. Road assistance was too busy and other companies cost too much money but before we lost hope, our neighbours came the rescue, loaned us some jumper plugs and pushed our car to health again. Luc was happy his first love was ok again and went to get it washed as a reward...

... Shortly after we were home, the car was working, we'd eaten and jetlag was starting to take hold. Luc and I were determined to stay up so Tash suggested we watch one of the movies we'd bought. We were excited and settled down with some homemade iced tea and fresh watermelon only to discover the overide regional coding function on our DVD wasn't work so we couldn't watch any of the 32 movies we'd bought. Hugo then smashed my favourite mug. Natasha then accidentally mentioned Mum had changed her number as a result of an argument I'd had with her before we left. I then casually walked to Hugo's room to get some air and stumbled upon a treadmill I had hired months ago and had forgotten to return. It was then time to feed Hugo so we happily sat (I really enjoy breastfeeding) and with his newly aquired teeth he not only bit but bruised one of my nipples. Then it started to rain.

Don't you just love coming back from a holiday?
posted by kazumi at 9:50 am | link | 2 comments

Monday, October 17, 2005

Seachange

After a big night at a family friend's house, we're all a little tired and fragile today and still in our pyjamas, despite it being 2pm. Luc's brother has been staying with us so the house is full. It feels nice. And it's naturally still raining so we're confined to indoor activities like cooking, surfing the net, playing video games, watching movies and eating - perfect.

The next few days will be heavily significant for us. Luc and I have been looking at a variety of properties here in Vancouver (as the value for money is exceptional in comparison to Sydney) and have found one that we love. It's currently on hold as we explore financing options, which will hopefully be determined tomorrow.

It's a mansion compared to what we've used to - three bedrooms, three bathrooms a massive open-planned 'hub' space that includes a big kitchen, living room, family room and dining room, double garage, plus a basement that features another three large rooms and an extra bathroom. The house alone is over 3,500 square metres and the property in total is around 5,500. Enormous.

The area is a mountanous suburb of Vancouver, around 35 minutes away from downtown, around an hour from Whistler, surrounded by golf courses and forest. Luc's family are close by and I like how the landscape and air are so new to me. Luc and I prefer Vancouver's mountains to its downtown and habour areas, which although are pretty, don't really compare to Sydney. Our goal is to have a mountain home in Vancouver and a waterfront/city pad in Sydney. Hey, might as well think big! And although we make good money now, we simply can't afford to buy the type of home we want in Sydney. It'll have to come later.

We went to inspect the construction yesterday and the timing may be quite perfect as the home won't be completed until April next year. At this stage we can select the colour schemes, appliances and Luc can run whatever cables he likes and we'll have six months to sell up and vacate Sydney.

So many thoughts are ruling my mind, but on the whole I'm hopeful and terribly excited.
posted by kazumi at 6:41 am | link | 3 comments

Thursday, October 13, 2005

It's still raining. Luc has gone to keep his Mom company as she drops his brother home downtown, Hugo's sleeping, Barry (Luc's Mom's fiance) is watching tv and I've done the dishes and have finished cleaning the kitchen after dinner. I should do some work but feel like writing. Nothing in particular.

Lately I've been thinking what would happen if women decided to shun men in live in communities of their own. I remember reading or hearing something along those lines in somewhere like China or Africa where men were only allowed to visit to make babies and recall things were pretty sweet. Luc's Mom, like my own, is very close to her sister and all four women are tired of men and believe they will all retire happily with their sisters. Each has a significant other who they love, but nevertheless consider disposable. They've all been tremendously hurt in the past and I can't help but wonder if I will end up like this?

Luc's Mom and I have bonded quite significantly on this trip and she's been blatantly pushing Luc to pop the question. Every time he mentions a TV, computer, game or something he wants to buy (which is practically every day) she'll tell him he has better things to purchase (ie a ring). Most days I'd like to get married but there are still some days where I don't.

The notion of marriage offers me a sense of unity, belonging and security yet I'm always wary of becoming another sad statistics. Like many trends have shown, I question if a different man accompany me as I journey through the partying, child rearing and later years of my life. Sometimes I matter-of-factly think this will be the case and wonder what I can do to value what I have and stay strong, just in case. And sometimes I wonder whether this is the disposition of someone suited for marriage.

Whenever someone asks, I cheekily refer to Luc as my lover. Lots of people find this amusing and think this would keeps him on his toes but I'm starting to see marriage like that now, especially in a time when divorce is so commonplace.
posted by kazumi at 1:10 pm | link | 0 comments
Is it just me or are emails between friends and family always better when you're out of the country?

Natasha's currently in China. She's there with Mum to help our grandmother with her new living arrangements. The old bird's 84 and has a feeling she's going to "cross over" soon and wants to spend time with her two older sisters before that time comes. Yes, older. Eighty six and eighty nine to be precise.

Anyhow, I received an email today from her describing how she's peed on her ankles a number of times while trying to use their hole-in-the-ground toilets, recieved matching mozzie bites on the tip of both index fingers and visited a local hairdresser who didn't know how to cut curly hair and has consequently cut her a fringe. Ha! Let's just say it's bad.

And to top it all off, the three old women like to talk. She wakes up most mornings to find one of them sitting on the edge of her bed, talking to her. They talk to her when she's watching tv, in the shower and even when she's peeing on her ankles. At first she thought it was charming but that wore off when our grandmother started to follow her from room to room talking regardless of whether Tash responded. Mum has had to step in and help a few times to help, but usually she's also being spoken to as well.

I think it would drive me nuts and would rather Hugo's antics anyday. He's currently standing next to my chair and rubbing his spit over my knee and up my leg. He then slaps it as it makes a sound pleasing to his little ears. It's a beautiful thing.
posted by kazumi at 9:52 am | link | 0 comments

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

I thought I would have a lot of time to blog on this holiday but have been surprised at how much time family consumes. We're in Vancouver again after a week of galavanting throughout Vancouver Island, and although a great time was had by all, I'm exhausted from an ironic lack of rest. It's good to be back 'home'.

Living with a family has reminded me of so much more than the repercussions of secretly eating someone else's icecream and the benefits of locking the door when going to the loo. I've been reaquainted with the virtues of compromise, sharing and seeing but still loving people in spite of their unique madness and have realised how lonely I was in Sydney. I was depressed and quite desperate for someone kind who could and wanted to provide some comfort and much needed hope. I love my friends and family in Sydney but often feel no one wants to get involved with other people's feelings and 'mess', so relationships can feel superficial.

I've also been surprised at how comfortable I feel with Luc's family. The women remind me of my own family but without the ingrained need to control (don't you find you want to control the words, actions and attitudes of your family members and vice versa?). And they have so much character. When I write that I don't mean they can tell a humorous dinner party joke and have a penchant for loud shoes; I mean they've experienced heartache, lonliness, war and poverty and have survived wounded but still bearing the desire to share their warmth, love and lessons.

And being so removed from home and the need to put on a good front has made me do things you only can do in a foreign country like sob shamelessly in the street, bear my soul to a stranger and tell my lover why I'm seriously thinking of leaving him.

And these women have held me, shared cigarettes (and let me cough them down), shared glass after glass of wine and above all, they've really understood how I've felt. I don't feel like an emotional lunatic and further to that, they've butted their noses into our business and taken action to prevent further pain and it's surprisingly been exactly what I've needed.
posted by kazumi at 5:53 am | link | 3 comments

Monday, October 03, 2005

I love the rain so Vancouver's climate is comforting me in ways I cannot describe. I feel cozy, content and creative. When I was a girl I'd always clean my room when it rained. I'd then make a cup of hot, milky tea and write in my journal or read. And if that didn't suffice I'd play the piano as I could play loudly and expressively without anyone hearing my emotion or mistakes.

And there was no guilt about being indoors.

Funny how some things never change.

It's pouring down tonight so I'm here after putting Hugo to bed and folding away some clothes. All I need now is a good cuppa...

... So we've been here for over a week now and although I feel myself opening up, I haven't had a lot of time to myself. Nevertheless, living with a loud and embracing family has been refreshing. It almost feels healthier. Due to this I've thought about inviting my brother or sister to live with us, but those thoughts never endure.

I've been spending a lot of time with Luc's mom. Despite clashing a little in the past, I was determined to be positive and make it work and it's paid off. I've managed to get past her loud, hard and strong surface to find a very loving, caring and affectionate person. It's ironic as in our last argument mum said rejectful comments and told me to treat Luc's mom like my own and although I'm not trying to replace her, it's refreshing to have a similar relationship without the drama.

The rain has stopped but I've been crying to make up for it. I should note any of my alone time hasn't been easy. I find myself crying a lot and my dreams are bringing up things I want to forget.

I was so relieved to leave Sydney, but since arriving in Vancouver I've have multiple dreams where I'm hanging out with Adrian. In my dreams I know he's dead and am aware that I'm with his ghost and for a while it's happy but I always end up confused and horribly upset until I make myself wake up. I also dream of endless arguments with my parents and wake up tired.

My head knows that I'm still mourning and adjusting to life's changes, I just hope Vancouver's rain can wash away some of my sadder thoughts and provide some more comfort and clarity.
posted by kazumi at 1:55 pm | link | 3 comments