The Contingency Plan

Friday, December 30, 2005

report card

the New Year is looming
a time to ponder the past
and make a wish-list for the future
this was my 2005 list
i was so inspired by the act of creating it
my lucky 13
and out of the lot, i've achieved....
around five
yikes
this is the run-down:
-----
1: failed. didn't loose 20kg, but have done around half of it, the hard way, while still breastfeeding (that should still count, right?)
2,3 and 4: failed. didn't take a course, a dance class or finish a single book. horrifying when i consider all i read the year before
5,6,7 and 8: covered off. hugo and i found a routine we're both happy with and i now enjoy cleaning so much that i stopped hiring our cleaners months ago and our house looks and feels better for it
9: failed. me didn't proactively learn no knew words this year
10: achieved. bills paid, tick!
11: failed. i didn't volunteered. sounds selfish but sometimes i barely have enough for myself after Hugo, Luc, our home, family and friends and my business take what they need. i'm sure i'll get over the guilt one day
12: art is on its way. fabulous photographer-friend is helping me create massive snaps of spawn and after discovering how cheap canvases are to buy, i'm inspired to create a masterpiece or two to adorn (or scorn) our home
13: before my friendship with sophie, i didn't have one 'best friend', instead i had a number of close friends, all very different people and i've kinda gone back to that. i still get lonely sometimes (who doesn't?), but would rather have my eggs spread, happier that way
------
hm. so time to think of a new list
suggestions?
you show me yours and i'll show you mine?
what a deal, you know i will anyway...
posted by kazumi at 10:42 am | link | 2 comments

Thursday, December 29, 2005

i've been a bit shitty lately.
have felt the rage bubble and spit
then grow weary and sit on my diaphram.
perhaps it's the stress of seeing my family.
my search for trust.
the little things about luc surfacing and how
i'm just waiting for the relationship time bomb to explode.
oh ye of little faith.
dad wants us to come over for new years and i'm violently opposed to it
why over invest?
even if he is my father.
sometimes i grow weary of being healthy.
of trying to do 'right'.
of being a partner, a housewife, a mother, business owner and
person with many different smiles.
when i'm alone my lips are pursed.
i run fingers along my bones
the tops of my eye lids
and focus on breathing
because the wrath still sits on my diaphram.
posted by kazumi at 9:47 pm | link | 2 comments

Christmas Mix

I enjoyed the last time I did something like this so here goes....

Go on, give it a go!

1. No. of family members we entertained on Christmas Day
2. Total no. of kilometers Luc and Dad traveled to find more beer
3. No. of Christmas tree bauble fatalities perpetrated by Hugo
4. No. of recipe books I received
5. No. of times we went to the beach over the last three days
6. No. of times I'd been seen in swimmers at the beach in the last three years prior to this
7. No. of times Luc complained about the heat each day (average count)
8. No. of times I subsequently dreamt of giving him a one-finger punch to the kidneys
9. How high (in cms) my chocolate pavlova base was when I took it out of the oven

a. o
b. 1
c. 2
d. 3
e. 5
f. 15
g. 44
h. 29
i. 30

I'll leave this up for a week and then post the answers. Guess as many times as you like because in the spirit of Christmas there'll be a surprise prize for the person/s who gets this right, yay!
posted by kazumi at 2:46 pm | link | 1 comments

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Sorry to bombard you with more pictures of Hugo....

Christmas was great, yada yada, surprisingly.
I had the family over. First time since Mum and Dad's divorce four years ago, relationships have been tense since. But the day was calm, relaxing and dare-I-say, heart-warming.
I made a great feast. Still eating.
Dad stayed for two days afterwards, think he's lonely.
Lots of photos to slowly share...
posted by kazumi at 12:27 am | link | 3 comments

Natasha took some photos of Hugo last week and I just love them. He'd been playing and was in dire need of a bath, which I think makes them cuter
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Cheeeeeeks
posted by kazumi at 12:23 am | link | 0 comments

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Damn activity table.
posted by kazumi at 12:22 am | link | 0 comments

Friday, December 23, 2005

Merry Christmas Everyone!























































































































This Christmas Eve is a hot one for Sydney-siders who are enduring 38 degrees heat and even hotter winds.

I'm having the whole Baker family here for lunch tomorrow so I should be cooking and cleaning but I'm here, blogging. Must. Keep. Blogging.

This is where I'd rather be instead. Oh the beach. We took Hugo to the beach for the first time last Sunday. Shelley Beach was the location of choice as many of the city beaches were closed due to racial bullshit.

At first he was apprehensive and wouldn't put his feet in the water but in no time he was squealing with excitement and kicking his legs in enjoyment. I love how kids use their bodies to express emotion.

Hope you all have a heart warming day tomorrow xx
posted by kazumi at 9:46 pm | link | 2 comments

Thursday, December 22, 2005

I'm It

I've never been tagged before (thanks Junebee!), so who I am to refuse?

I seriously don't know who to tag... Frank, Michelle, Tequila, Bente, Squirrely, Kyra, Portugesa Nova if any of you are up for it...??

What were you doing ten years ago?
I was in high school, dreaming of changing the world, writing for a national youth newspaper about issues like female teenage body image while battling it myself as I taught funk classes at a college of entertainment to people like Aussie soap star, wife of Lleyton Hewitt and new mum, Bec Cartright, who I used to see quite often when she first started in the bizz... and breath.

What were you doing one year ago?
Oh my God, almost exactly what I did today!! I got my hair cut and started my Christmas shopping *sing twilight music* But unlike last year the hair cutting experience was kick. ass.

Five snacks you enjoy:
1. Ice cream - any kind or flavour
2. Hazelnut chocolate
3. Salt and vinegar chips (the saltier and tangier the better)
4. Sardines/mackarel in tomato sauce
5. Spiced gherkins/spiced hot peppers

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
There are so many songs that I know the lyrics to that I didn't know that I knew, but my favs this week are:
1. "I like big butts", Sir Mix-a-lot
2. "Let's talk about Sex", Salt n Peppa (fav singalong song with Gordon)
3. "Bust a Move", Young MC
4. "Things that make you go Hmm", C&C Music Factory (do I sound like a teenager of the nineties yet?)
5. "Torn", Natalie Imbruglia (fav singalong song with my sis) or anything by Madonna
... I think. Ask me next week and I'm sure the list would be different.

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Find someone to help me become a billionaire as let's face it, a million doesn't go very far these days
2. Pay off all of our debt
3. Create a system where I can give someone in our family a considerable amount of cash every year from the interest made from investments in point one
4. Take favourite family and friends on holidays with us
5. Buy a house

Five Bad habits
Moi? Bad habits?
1. Procrastination
2. The enjoyment I experience from indulging in something naughty and/or testing my boundaries
3. Emotionally over-eating
4. Playing music too loud
5. Swearing

Five things you would never wear again
:
1. A secret lover's kiss
2. Dental floss g-strings that make my sides look like an unslightly roast of pork
3. Cheap fake tan
4. Anything from my younger clubbing days: platform knee-high boots, hot pants and teeny weeny tops that scream 'look at meeee!!'
5. Character suit (yes, those big/hot/stinky cartoon character suits that kids like to hug and random people like to punch or slap as they walk by)

Five Favorite Toys:
1. Can my son count?
2. Laptop
3. iPod
4. Digital camera
5. Any working telephone


For Christmas this year I asked Santa for....

  1. New nipples. Especially my left nipple, which Hugo bit and cracked two nights ago please and thank you.
  2. Potted herbs. I'm watering our garden every day now so I think I may be alright to own a plant again. I've previously killed numerous cacti and other "maintenance-free" potted leafy things
  3. Some new recipe books. You know it's bad when your boyfriend suggests it because he's seen you milk the few you already have to death
  4. A pedicure. Perpetually walking around barefoot this summer has made my soles look scaley. And scarey.
  5. Newspaper subscription. Because I want to be more learn-ed.
  6. and then a hot pink BMX with matching ribbons so I can ride fast fast fast away from my little sister, who asked for white rollerskates that have glow in the dark wheels.. bet she wouldn't be as fast as me though. Oh and maybe a journal. And some new pens in glittery colours so I can write in it. ohhhh and a lock NO ONE can crack. And writing paper so I can start writing letters again....

So what did you ask for?

...

While surfing the blog of Empress Baggie, I came across an old picture, circa 1945 taken of a family walking down the street.

I love the randonmess of snapping someone walking on the sidewalk. I want one taken of myself, Luc and Hugo. Perhaps a tad narcissistic. But then again I do have a blog...

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Honey I'm Home!

I'm happy to report that Luc, Hugo and I have moved.

I feel bad that I haven't blogged already, but we all know I bear a love/hate relationship with this business. Ugh... the pressure to be forever interesting, humorous and popular. Sometimes the older I get the more reclusive I feel. I'd rather spend time with my son.

So anyway, we've moved from a three bedroom house in Sydney's northern suburbs to a three bedroom house in Sydney's inner west. The difference between the two places on paper is slight, but for the second time I would consider buying (first time was our waterfront apartment in McMahons Point). More than anywhere we've lived before, this place is just us.

Besides our terrace, which is filled with light, big spaces and an amazing living area that opens up onto the garden, there's a plethora of pubs and live music venues, arthouse cinemas for foreign films, lots of small and intriguing delis and cafes whose owners you want to like you, interior decorating shops that I walk into and die in from pleasure and sensory overloads and most of our friends are so close - all of this is within 10 mins of travel.

I enjoyed our years in Sydney's lower north shore, but never really felt at home there. The area is packed with secure and affluent folk who went to expensive private schools and fit the typically 'Australian' bill of caucasian-ness. I don't want to judge it as it's right for some people but is so far removed from what I grew up with and am comfortable with.

I think that's why I really feel at ease where we are now. I can walk to the shops where I'll find the same four elderly Greek men sitting at the bus stop as they do everyday talking about who know who cares as they look so damn cute, more nationalities than I can count on fingers and toes, authentic Croatian and Italian products Luc grew up with as a kid in Europe, beautiful women wearing hajib (although I grew up with close friends wearing this I've never seen it on the other side of the Bridge) and old women who talk to me in half English, half something else while I push Hugo in his pram who give him kisses when we part.

Love love love love.

Pop by if you have the time. I've just made these Monte Carlos, which taste as Luc's Mom would say, dee-wine...

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Hot hot hot!!!

It's unbelievably hot.

I should be packing, but extensive activity in this sweltering 40 degrees heat makes me want to tear my hair out (that's 104 farenheit for you Americans). I don't understand why in a country like Australia there are houses without fly screens and air conditioners.

The house we're in and the one we're moving to lack these necessities. Why why why? The owners must be damn fools. I'm sweating in places I didn't know you could.

We're about half way through and I figure we've got another seven or so hours to get this place done and in tip-top shape.

Even though Luc's a bit of a hottie, I'm hoping our movers will look like this. That would make it alllllll better.

Monday, December 05, 2005

This week we're:
* Finalising the sale of our car
* Buying a new car
* Moving house

... should probably start packing...

Good news though - we've applied for a stunning, brand new terrace in the inner city suburbs! I just love it and the rent is $200/week cheaper than what we're currently paying. We'll find out whether we're approved tomorrow, sign the lease on Wednesday and be in by the weekend.

If all fails we've been approved for a place out west in the Hills area (we call it the Hells). The back-up place is equally as nice so we'll just see how things pan out.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Random Emails

-----Original Message-----
From: David
[mailto:david@wouldntyouliketoknow.com]
Sent: Tuesday 23 November 2005 7:46 PM
To: Kazumi
Subject: Re:

Hey Kazumi,

I'm up in Newcastle til right before the flight to Germany on Thurs. I'm sorry I was crap and didn't get round to seeing you all one more time.

May we carry on our infrequent but valued communications from afar!

Love to you, L, H

David

*****

-----Original Message-----
From: kazumi baker
[mailto:kazumi_baker@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, 20 October 2005 2:01 PM
To: Andi
Subject: deep breaths and even paced heartbeats

these things may seem insignificant to some, but are prized among those who organise major events.

so how are you?

i'm still in the land of bears and maple syrup but will be back in time to revel in your greatness.

love, umi

--- Andi wrote:

At last someone that understands!
Rush, rush, chalk, rush - have to talk to you later - call me when you get back.
AX

Andi
Festival Director

*****

--- Bella wrote:

Kazumi,

I'm in Darwin working for NT Legal Aid commission. Am a criminal lawyer. Lots of work, never know what to expect, in court every day, it's lots of fun, rough and tumble, all just how I like it.

Gee, I love hearing about Hugo - would so love to meet him. I'll be in Sydney over Christmas/New Year. I've been coming to Sydney every three months or so for a few days each time because I'm doing a masters at Sydney uni (in law ... yawn). But it's a good excuse to come down and soak up the big smoke.

I haven't seen Dave since last year but email and talk on the phone now and then. I'm so glad that we've managed to stay friends and to be able to talk without feeling any regret, hurt or anger. I'm really grateful for that, since we did share so many years together. I'm happy we've moved on, and that he's found a lovely-sounding girl and I'm excited for him going to Germany to start a new chapter with her. I'm also relieved that we've been able to keep our mutual friends and that they haven't felt they've had to choose between us. There really couldn't be a better break up.

With the macrobiotic ... well, that has been abandoned in favour of the rampant mango season that we have in Darwin at the moment. Mangos dripping off every second tree. Like gold for free. My household is sucking them up. In fact, this weekend we're having a mega mango freezing morning whereby we'll amass a stash of mangoes, cut em up and freeze them to ensure steady smoothie- supplies for the next year.

Life in Darwin in fun - I live in a sharehouse right behing the beach (can't really swim for all the crocs and box jellyfish, but the breeze and the sunsets are nice) with Sue also a lawyer at legal aid), John and Alicia (who are both from Sydney too - they're doctors at the hospital). it is a lot of fun, they're just UNREAL and we get on really well.

I'm still playing the violin, but there's not much of a music scene here ... a couple of ensembles that I play in ... if I want to hear live classical music, i've got to actually make it myself.

Goodness me! You have quite a memory ... Michael - yes. Cannot believe you remember that. he's a lawyer here too - he works for Aboriginal Legal Aid. We've been together a year now. Unfortunately work rules all, so that bitching about magistrates and exchanging dramatic court stores tends to take up a lot of air time in our relationship. But it's going great and I've very happy.

I don't think I'll stay in the NT forever, but it's good for now. Michael and I both want to go back to Sydney at some stage, but don't know when...one year, two years?? Who knows??!

I'm a glutton for more of your stories ... so good to be in touch with you again. Tell me how you're all going??!!

Lots of love,
Bella

*****